my finger descends on the plastic
send
the shot fires out
flying thru ethereal darkness
at the speed of light

i imagine a fiery trail like a comet

in seconds it should reach its destination... you

i wait

but there is no
immediate
impact
at all

posted by bluematrix at 01/25/07 19:02 | link | comments (1)

Every day seems to be a haphazard collection of things that we are not really into - like work, errands, chores and other tasks required of us to get by in this world. How often do we feel really alive? How often do we lose ourselves in something we truly enjoy? Not often is my guess.

Walter Kerr in the 'Decline of Pleasure' writes "We are vaguely wretched, because we are leading half-lives, half-heartedly, and with only one-half of our minds actively engaged in making contact with the universe around us."

Diane Ackerman, in her excellent book 'Deep Play' tells one remedy to the 'vaguely wretched' feeling is allow ourselves to play deeply, becoming fully available to the world and ourselves, in harmony with life even for a few glorious moments. Because even after we return from those special moments, we still carry with us some residual positive energy and insights to be used in our 'normal' lives.

She differentiates 'deep' play vs. 'simple' play in simple play being at a lower level - not so much the activity but where your heart and mind is at when you're doing it. For some, jogging is deep play because they are totally into it, their mind and body at peace and working in unison. But if you jog mainly because you know it's good for you, that is not deep play. Sometimes jogging for me takes on the deep play aspect - the stillness of mind, the awareness of breath and body, the losing of a sense of time. But more often it is because I know it's good for me and my mind turns over the problems of the day as I cruise along, and I constantly look forward to the run being over as I tire.

Go forth and play deeply.

posted by bluematrix at 01/20/07 09:39 | link | comments (3)

I have never been attracted to the organized religions of the west (i am not counting the eastern religions here, because to me they seem less like an 'organized' religion than a school of spiritual thought). my parents made sure i gave it good try when i was a kid, and while i envied the sense of belonging that the congregations seemed to enjoy, and later tried several flavors as an adult, i was left unsatisfied.

but as a race, we have a need for a working mythology. and when we can't find one off the shelf, we tend to fill in the gap with more personal, stylized, spiritual endeavors. more and more people it seems don't need an interpreter or middleman to connect into a bigger picture of the cosmos. i have a number of things that can give me a good spiritual buzz.

certain pieces of music have always given me a spiritual jolt. often i have to be in the right mood (and sometimes the right place) and they tend to change over time, but there have been many times in my life where the power of music had brought me to my knees. there are songs that have filled me with hope and shown me in an hour of need that i am not the only one who can feel so lost or sad - the voice of the singer like a preacher and the sonic environment of the recording my temple. occasionally a movie can rise above mere entertainment, but not often.

certain places do it for me too. not too surprisingly, majestic places like mountains and canyons can awe me into a meditative state through sheer beauty and make me feel more connected to this life. but more often (and definitely more convenient) i can sometimes get this connection close to home - a cool old tree, or a sunset on the river, or the milky way of stars above a lake.

I have drawn strength from a wide variety and fair number of excellent books dealing with different kinds spiritual topics. and while i rarely have actually felt the spiritual vibe while reading a book, i think they sow the seeds so i am more open and ready to seek out (or recognize) a spiritual experience.

along these lines, i am planning on designing and hosting a new blog focusing on spirituality and creativity. i'm not sure what that means for this blog, but i will keep you posted.

may all of the many changes that will happen to you this year be positive,

tim

posted by bluematrix at 01/06/07 14:03 | link | comments (2)