a song that keeps popping up when I make playlists is an old stevie wonder tune, ‘don’t you worry ‘bout a thing’. like many good self help concepts, a good idea, but often hard to put into practice. even though we know worrying doesn’t help matters, we all do it. some even worry about worrying to much – how’s that for a negative feedback loop?

there's an old japanese saying – the mind is the source of all disease. your mind worrying about stuff causes stress. and stress leads to ulcers, high blood pressure, allergies, heart troubles, gastrointestinal diseases, headaches and other problems. some cancer authorities even claim that stress increases one’s susceptibility to cancer. and when you’re sick, you worry about getting sicker and we get another negative feedback loop.

Dr. Paul E. Adolph says “Anxiety and worry represent forms of fear which project themselves into the future and often concern themselves with imaginary situations which never come to pass.  Indeed, it often happens when the future situation arrives, it is devoid of all the contemplated elements which are anticipated”. when was the last time something you worried about actually came to be and hurt you physically?

worrying breaks down into two categories, the first one being problems that you really need to think about. for instance you hear a weird noise coming from your car engine. if you ignore it, chances are it will get worse. so the best course is to think calmly and rationally about what the next best step should be…perhaps to make an appointment to get your car in. worrying won’t help your car run better - but considering your options or getting a bit more information probably will.

the second kind of worry is a problem that no amount of thinking will solve. worrying about the past is a good example here, you know you can’t change what happened. you might think “I would have been happier now if I hadn’t done this' but it just might be that “I would have been more miserable now if I had done that”.

completely contrary to when you're feeling stress, when you're relaxed, the autonomic nervous system, endocrine system, immunological system, etc. work better. this means less disease and being in better physical condition. now we have a positive feedback loop.

problems exist outside of you, and almost never harm you. but constant worrying has a decent chance of putting you in a hospital.

posted by bluematrix at 03/31/08 20:04 | link | comments (1)

a bit late again blogging last week...i ended up taking a last minute spring break vacation to the beach for a week before i start my new job tomorrow. very relaxing.

while i was there i had a chance to dig into a new book, a followup to 'zen and motorcycle maintenance' by r. pirsig, called 'lila'. instead of a using a motorcycle journey to ponder on deep philosophical issues he uses a sailboat (an even better topic for me than motorcycles). and he talks about the importance of the american indian on shaping our country's values (the earth-friendly lifestyle of the indian yet another topic of great interest to me).

of all the contributions america has made to the world, the idea of freedom was the most important and the author traces it directly to the indian. it was fought for in the american revolution and confirmed in the civil war and is still the most powerful ideal holding this country together.

jefferson called this idea of all men being equal 'self evident', but it is not at all self evident...in fact scientific and historical evidence points to just the opposite. there is no nation in europe that doesn't trace its history to a time when it was very self evident that men are definitely created 'unequal'. rousseau, who is sometimes given credit for the 'created equal' idea, definitely did not get the idea from looking at the history of europe, asia, or africa filled with kings, emperors and pharos along with serfs, slaves and lower castes. he got it from the impact of the new world upon the europeans settling here and from contemplating one particular kind of individual in that new world - the 'noble savage'.

early europeans here only transmitted the idea of equality from the american indian, a race to whom this idea of freedom was not just an interesting doctrine, but had it built into their bones. there was no build up and hoarding of material wealth and resources that gives one man power over another - the indian did not believe anyone can 'own' land. they instead chose to live in harmony with it just like all of the other creatures on the earth. their possessions were few and simple and mostly practical. there is much to learn from this.

every day i get an email - elder's meditation of the day. here is one from March 5...
"I have always searched for my place and my people." --Wendy Rose, HOPI/MIWOK

For every human being to feel connected, we must have the feeling of belonging. That is one of the values and benefits of a culture: it creates the feeling of belonging. If for some reason, while you were growing up, you did not develop the feeling of belonging, a search will be triggered and a restlessness will be present in your heart. You will have a hole inside you, something missing, until you find your place and your people. Remember, we can get this feeling of belonging when we realize we belong to the Great Spirit and that He really loves us a lot.

posted by bluematrix at 03/23/08 08:25 | link | comments (4)

'balance'. i think about it often. balance of work and play, of denying now versus and planning for the future versus living for the moment. of how hard it is to achieve balance, and how fleeting it is once its found.

in order to balance something you have to find the center of the things you want to balance. picture a playground see-saw - go too far one way or the other and you become off balance and your butt plops to the ground.

so being centered is good thing. physically, i realize this when i do tai chi - most of the movements flow from the center of the torso (as they do in pilates). many focus specifically on the 'dan tien' a point just below the navel which is the center of gravity for our bodies and a metaphysical hotspot. this center point is also one of the 'chakras' used in asian meditation techniques. hawaiians moved it slightly higher (the navel itself) and called this center place the 'piko' and literally and figuratively it represents our connection to the source of life.

but what about mentally and spiritual centeredness? tricky. i suppose one could use adjectives to describe the feeling if not the actual state of being centered. peaceful, connected, confident, loved. if you can find your center, you become balanced and then you can feel these things.

great, but how do you get there? meditation is historically a common way, but hard for most people today to cultivate.

i find it pretty easy to feel centered in certain special places in nature that inspire me and make me feel connected to the world - in forests (like the sequoias in california), near water (like na pali coast in hawaii), in canyons (like the grand canyon), and deserts (like death valley), and mountains (like estes park in colorado). but being in st. louis i don't have mountains and deserts, and i can't get to these places very often.

but i seem to have some luck when i combine a physical attempt to be centered (like tai chi or simple breathing exercises) with going to a place in nature nearby (like the river or the woods). it definitely does not just come to me while i'm sitting at my desk...i have to work at it. but it's something worth working on.

"Most of us think ourselves as standing wearily and helplessly at the center of a circle bristling with tasks, burdens, problems, annoyance, and responsibilities which are rushing in upon us. At every moment we have a dozen different things to do, a dozen problems to solve, a dozen strains to endure. We see ourselves as overdriven, overburdened, overtired. This is a common mental picture and it is totally false. No one of us, however crowded his life, has such an existence. What is the true picture of your life? Imagine that there is an hour glass on your desk. Connecting the bowl at the top with the bowl at the bottom is a tube so thin that only one grain of sand can pass through it at a time. That is the true picture of your life, even on a super busy day, The crowded hours come to you always one moment at a time. That is the only way they can come. The day may bring many tasks, many problems, strains, but invariably they come in single file. You want to gain emotional poise? Remember the hourglass, the grains of sand dropping one by one." - James Gordon Gilkey

posted by bluematrix at 03/09/08 01:12 | link | comments (1)